Monday, March 25, 2013

Duffel Blog on target


(Lt. Gen. Christopher Bogdan jokes about how
sequestration is screwing over the other
services but not his.)


Great satire:

It’s certainly not the first problem to hit the uniform. During initial testing, uniform wearers reported that the fabric would not allow them to turn their head to see what’s behind them. Pentagon insiders also found major software problems in January, although the reason an airman’s uniform would have any type of computing power “remains classified.”

“We’re confident that despite this hiccup, we’ll get through this,” said Bogdan. “We’ve already conducted 20,000 tests of the uniform’s capabilities and only have about 40,000 more to go.”

The Air Force estimates the program to remain on schedule, with development and fielding set to take no longer than 30 years at a total cost anywhere between $600 billion and $1.2 trillion, or maybe $2.9 trillion, or even “possibly $3.7 gazillion or so, give or take a couple zillion,” Bogdan said.

“We are absolutely precise when it comes to getting a bomb inside a chimney,” Bogdan told The Duffel Blog, “but you can’t ask us to tell you exactly how much this could cost. It’s very hard to predict contractor kickbacks.”

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